Scolopendra Centipede Scattering in Chiang Mai Thailand
He flashed his mandibles of rage at me, smiling a sinister, daring grin.
Millions of years of evolution stared me dead in the eye.
I froze.
The 8 inch long Scolopendra centipede had barreled into the home 5 minutes prior.
The 5 minutes felt like 5 nanoseconds.
Everything was a blur.
I saw a black figure scurry across the floor, hustling like it was crossing the street in Times Square.
Not a snake. Undulating movement different.
Scolopendra!
I yelled the word once, then twice, then three times. Kelli thought I was speaking in tongues. I grabbed the dog – named Yoda, though he was not wise enough to get out of the centipede’s way – and tossed him aside, telling Kelli to bring him into the bedroom.
Wifey sprinted into the bedroom. Closed the door.
I grabbed a broom and began the hunt.
The centipede was massive. 8 inches. Armor like steel. Jaws of death. A bitch of a stinger waited for me, sprouting from the tale. But this Scolopendra was shy. He was fierce, but fearful too. I was a human after all. Many times his size. Yet I felt like I was lower on the food chain.
I swept under the couch to smoke the guy out. He proceeded to climb down the wall in breakneck fashion, sprinting to the nearest chair.
I quickly jogged down the stairs. I cornered him. Or so I thought.
Here’s a quick video of me cornering this monster in Thailand:
I found him below a chair. Pulled it out. He headed for the corner.
I then snapped the shot you see above on finding this primal beast hiding underneath the couch. Check out those ferocious fangs.
I poked at him with the broom. He didn’t like that, lashing out at me before he made his last stand, hiding underneath a book shelf.
I slowly, carefully and oh so cautiously turned the shelf on its side, grabbing a spade to give him a smash upside the pede-head.
He sprints from the shelf. I bash him with the spade. He looks up at me like “Is this all ya got?” and heads like a bat out of hell to the bathroom.
I catch up to him, slamming him with the broom, the peeved pede brushing off each smashing motion like I was a fly buzzing around him, annoying this arachnid.
Finally, as a last resort, I pick him up with the broom, flip him in the air, and swing the broom like a baseball bat, grand slamming him outside of the house.
I immediately close and lock the side screen to prevent him from sprinting back inside the home.
I figured this was the last encounter I’d have with a titanic creature in the house.
A Thai black bird eating tarantula in the bathroom would prove me wrong.
But that is another story.
Ryan Biddulph is a blogger, author and world traveler who’s been featured on Richard Branson’s Virgin Blog, Forbes, Fox News, Entrepreneur, Positively Positive, Life Hack, John Chow Dot Com and Neil Patel Dot Com. He has written and self-published 126 bite-sized eBooks on Amazon. Ryan can help you build a successful blog at Blogging From Paradise.
